Wow, so I didn't anticipate this much feedback from my
blog. I likes...lets keep this out in the open. Talking about
dating is NOT taboo. What is at stake is for Christian singles to learn
healthy interaction and develop healthy relationships with one another.
So why have I started this blog?
Often times in church culture (especially Asian-American) mixed with a lil Hollywood we have
mystified the process of finding a mate. We either leave it to fate or
"wait for God" to hand us our significant other.
The result is Christians will hang out only in groups, find an individual
he/she is genuinely interested in, and spend a lot of time with that person without
ever stating any intention whatsoever. They are friends who are deepening
the friendship but without understanding to what end...are they going to only
be friends or is the closeness going to develop into something more, which it
usually does. No clear communication +
developing closer intimacy = one or both people getting HURT. Well that HURT eventually leads to BITTERNESS,
which leads to GOSSIP then DISSENTION. The
euphemism typically used for this situations is SHADY, SKETCHY, not above
reproach. (do you see how all these are
connected???)
The purpose of this blog is for good Christians to avoid
being SHADY, HURTING each other, and GOSSIP, and DISSENTION and to develop
healthy, Godly relationships!
Who is this blog written to?
This blog is written to ADULTS…what is an adult you
ask?
Adults firmly live out their IDENTITY IN CHRIST. Do worldly standards dictate how you look,
act and feel? Do your friends? Are you living by works? Or do you believe what God says you are in
Him?
Adults COMMUNICATE GENUINELY. They do not set up false masks so that they
can save face. They openly talk about
what they are feeling and what are their expectations. Be straight up; say what you mean, mean what
you say!
Adults GUARD THEIR HEART.
They take what people say at face value.
If a guy asks a girl for coffee, it’s just coffee not a wedding
ring. If a guy states he’d like to get
to know a girl more, that is it…not a full on commitment. Take things one step at a time and trust God’s
timing. Set good boundaries!
Adults do NOT OVERSPIRITUALIZE GOD’S WILL. I challenge anyone who can show me Biblically
how one is supposed to choose Janey over Bertha! God calls us to live Godly lives. Be a Godly person…that’s it…pray for wisdom,
repent of your sins, live in the power of the Holy Spirit, etc. If you’re in a right relationship with God, you
will naturally make GODLY decisions, including who to date and who to marry.
Are any one of these aspects new to you? Talk to an older beleiver about how you can
develop these life skills. I wasn’t
exposed to these until well into college even though I thought I knew a lot
coming from a strong youth group.
By no means do I propose I have all the right answers, this
is A way of thinking…but our friend Random_Noyz said it best: “guys need to learn how to step it up and act
like men”…especially in the Asian community.
If that happens, that’s really a big win for us all no matter what
philosophy you’re from.
I encourage you to not just look at the recent posts, but
look back to June 30 where it all started.
Love to hear from y’all. - T | 
